I found out something interesting from school this past week. We had to take a personality quiz to see how we’d fit into an organization. I was shocked at my result. I’m an introvert? More specifically, I have an INTJ (Introvert Intuitive Thinking Judging) personality. I had no clue. I almost didn’t believe the result, so I took it twice. I got the same answer twice. My dad is one of the most extroverted people I know, and I take after him. Surprise surprise, I am actually have a much more similar personality to my mom!
Most of my life has been geared toward chasing success as an extroverted, outgoing person. Most of my life, I’ve been exhausted trying to be someone that I didn’t realize I was not. I’ve done everything from volunteer to give speeches, join various group activities in all levels of school, to arranging surprise parties for friends. I have been a wreck after most, if not all of these things. I’ve been known to come down with the flu after hosting an event. I never understood it, but there it is. I’m an introvert.
The more I think about it, the more it makes sense. Part of the reason I was exhausted at the gym was having to interact with people. I’m not fond of small talk. Meeting new people is a chore. I value alone time more than anything in this world. When I moved to Guam, I chose not to surround myself with lots of people. It was so refreshing. Even this summer, I withdrew and didn’t hang that much. I didn’t have a drained social battery all the time for once.
Since Jack got home and I’m doing more social events and parties, I am drained at the moment. How wonderful it is to finally understand why. That answers my questions about why I don’t have a big group of friends, and why I prefer to be close to one or two people in small doses. Now I know it’s not necessary to continue to force myself to do things that are draining me. I also found a solution for the gym; personal training! It’ll be better for me, in terms of motivation. Not expending social energy while trying to concentrate on workin gout sounds like a winning plan to me.