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“I know where I want to go, but don’t know how

“I know where I want to go, but don’t know how to get there in my situation.” How many times has that thought crossed your mind? The best thing I have come up with in my rough times is to do what I can with what I have. Sometimes that’s all we can do. Instead of trying to eat a whale whole, we have to take it bite by bite in tiny pieces. We take baby steps and do it one day at a time. One resource I’ve found is support groups online with NAMI. So here’s a journal prompt for you: What resources have you found helpful or unhelpful?

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. @noirememoir I #noirememoir
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Double negatives all the way across the sky 😂!

Double negatives all the way across the sky 😂! In keeping with today’s weather theme, I’m learning that all the storms in my past were the beginnings of beautiful rainbows. So many new opportunities are presenting themselves because of what I went through in the past. Imagine that. I’m turning my pain and my passion for writing into my power. But the best part is that I’m enjoying it. What’s that quote from Vanilla Sky? “Every passing moment is a chance to turn it all around.” It’s true.
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. @noirememoir I #noirememoir
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It’s Monday! Surely it’s everyone’s favorite

It’s Monday! Surely it’s everyone’s favorite day of the week. Right? Let’s start with some positive intentions. What’s the forecast in your mind? In mine, today is clear blue skies and sunshine as far as the eye can see. It’s a perfect day to go to my mind’s beach and stand in the sun, unbothered by anything and enjoying my own company. It’s beautiful weathering my head, because that’s what I’m creating. Create a happy (or safe) place in your mind and go to it when obstacles arise. Take a couple deep breaths and center yourself. So I ask again, what’s the forecast in your mind? Leave a comment below!
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. @noirememoir I #noirememoir
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Here’s a thought. You’re already complete. You

Here’s a thought. You’re already complete. You’re a whole human being. Are you comfortable with yourself? Do you like yourself? Do you love yourself? I used to struggle with all three. I didn’t like being alone. I hated myself and told myself I was horrible and hideous just about every second of every day. I abused myself in line with how others abused me. In my head, I thought that I had obviously deserved it, and that I wouldn’t have been treated so bad if I was actually good. It’s a hard lesson to learn that the way that others treat you has to do with them, not with you. Learning to validate myself and appreciate all my little quirks became my main focus. I was amazed at how much fun I could have on my own. Self-acceptance led to some extraordinarily good days, and easier to handle bad days. I’m already complete. I don’t need another person to fill what’s supposedly missing, because there isn’t anything missing.
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. @noirememoir I #noirememoir
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I am one of those people that is impatient as hell

I am one of those people that is impatient as hell to get to where I’m going. I hate depending on people to do things I know I’m capable of handling myself. If I want something done, I want it done right away. Take my healing journey for instance. I tried get it done in a month. One month. It worked out about as well as you’d expect. I also do that when comparing myself (yeah, shouldn’t be doing that!) to others. Before when I saw friends progressing in life… getting married and starting families, I’d get upset because I felt like I was always starting over every few years. I was getting left behind in the game of life. But now I see that what maters most right now is knowing which direction I want to go and doing everything I can to go that way. Things take time and shouldn’t be rushed like relationships, healing, processing. I’ll get to where I’m going when I get there. And when I get there, it’ll be glorious. Who else is taking it step by step and little by little?
. @noirememoir I #noirememoir
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Thank you for following. We’re out here celebrat

Thank you for following. We’re out here celebrating little victories wherever they may be. I hope that you’re reaching a goal in your healing journey or having a new moment of clarity. Please stay safe out there. Today I dare you to reach out to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Bet they’ll be excited to hear from you! ☺️

[LINK IN BIO] - Guess who has a new blog post up?

[LINK IN BIO] - Guess who has a new blog post up? Meeeee. So somewhere along the way in my childhood, I discovered I had difficulty connecting with my peers. I was rocking glasses, braces, and my body weight in insecurity. Social anxiety and a healthy dose of awkwardness dominated my interactions with others. I desperately wanted friends, and for people to like me. That led to me becoming very codependent and having some serious boundary issues. I became a human doormat in an effort to have friends. Overcoming codependency led to me finding happiness within and honestly… getting used a lot less. If I have to bend over backward in a friendship for someone to like me, they’re not a friend. How has codependency impacted your relationships? Leave a comment below.
. @noirememoir I #noirememoir
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I said what I said. We deserve better than being u

I said what I said. We deserve better than being unsure or wishy washy about the people in our lives or the goals we want to accomplish. If someone’s sending you mixed signals, let them go. You deserve better than feeling like an option. You’re not optional, you’re wonderful. If you’re unsure of where you want to head in the future, write a list and choose what speaks to your heart most. The great thing about this is if it doesn’t work out, you get to change your mind and try something else. Anyway, what I’m getting at is focus. Focus on your dreams. Focus on the people that make an effort to be positive additions to your life. Focus on learning more, getting better, and creating the life you want for yourself. It’s possible. Turn one day into October 3, 2022. Grool!
. @noirememoir I #noirememoir
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This is something that’s been difficult to wrap

This is something that’s been difficult to wrap my mind around, but from what I can tell, it’s valid. My past used to be one of my biggest sources of shame. My traumas, my secrets, and hidden pain kept me from feeling like I was worthy of friendship, love, and even safety. I think that may be a hidden reality for a lot of people that have suffered trauma in their lives. Sure, we try to save face by saying we’re fine and nothing bothers us and we don’t need therapy or help. But we do. I look back with compassion for myself. Manic me, suicidal me, depressed me, drunk me, high me, out of control me… they all deserve compassion, love, and safety. What happens to us does not have to define us. We make our peace with it and set out to live better lives with our lessons from the experience.
. @noirememoir I #noirememoir
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Oh, anxiety. I’ve tried to explain it as simply

Oh, anxiety. I’ve tried to explain it as simply as having your brain yell, “THEY KNOW!” without warning, while you yelp, “WHAT DO THEY KNOW?!” And your brain screams back, “I DON’T KNOW BUT THEY KNOW!” Then you’re like, “OH SHIT, THEY DEFINITELY KNOW. OH GOD.” And you dissolve into a puddle of sweat, nerves, and overthinking. These fun things like heart palpitations, sweaty shaky hands, and racing thoughts (“THEYKNOWTHEYKNOWTHEYKNOW”) overtake every aspect of your consciousness. If you’re doing super well and have PTSD, a flashback or two is thrown in the mix. If you get real lucky, you start to cry and hyperventilate suddenly while looking at the radishes at Publix, because somehow they’ve triggered a memory from when you were 14 that you thought you had dealt with in therapy three years ago. Mmmhmm. That’s anxiety for you. It’s a roller coaster. Thankfully, there are ways to deal with it. Taking deep breaths. Finding something to laugh at. Counting all the radishes in front of you while making detailed observations about their shape and color. Calling someone understanding that can reassure you that the people around you DO NOT know. Stopping what you’re doing, leaving, and finding a quiet place to calm yourself. I’ve lost track of the amount of times I’ve left my cart near the door at a grocery store, telling an employee that I’d be right back because I forgot my wallet. They’re usually pretty cool about it. What tips do you have for dealing with anxiety? Leave a comment below.
. @noirememoir l #noirememoir
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I’m Iris. I live in Florida. I’m enjoying life. My super power is making ridiculous cheeseboards. My hobbies include gardening, reading, and trying to get out of my comfort zone every now and then. Check out my first novel The Girl in the Mural. I’m excited to share it with the world!

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