warning: excessive use of the word “bruh” in this post.
you’ve been warned.
I did the most unthinkable and unimaginable thing in the world. The part of my healing journey that began last November… might actually be complete. Forgive my use of slang but… BRUH.
I am shocked. The light at the end of the tunnel was not a train! This morning, I thought about the future first as I woke up. I am giddy and excited because I got signed up for a Victim Advocacy Certification Course yesterday. After I complete that, I’m getting a certification in trauma counseling. I looked at all the jobs available for SARCs and Victim Advocates. There are so many around the U.S. that I don’t even have to stay in Orlando.
I get to help people with my experience with that kind of pain, hopefully sooner than later.
I felt the weirdest thing that I never expected to feel again. Hope. I am full of hope again. What the hell?! That’s awesome! I’m going to have a real impact on people’s lives. This how I get to change the world for the better.
Also… an off-topic fangirl announcement. Legend of Korra is coming to Netflix for the first time on August 14th. BRUHHHHHH. This show has a perfect representation of a character being traumatized and overcoming the pain, mistrust, and fear afterward. It’s beautifully written, and Korra is a badass. She’s one of my favorite characters of all time.
*Also a huge shout out to my dude Davin for helping me
restore so many of the posts that I accidentally deleted.
Thank you so much!*
I’ve gotten to exercising again. I ran my first mile and a quarter last Friday. I ended up injuring one of those back of the knee tendons (or ligaments or muscles?), and I’m currently #icebae. But I’ve also managed to keep it up by riding my bike and going for walks.
Another strange thing has been happening. There have been thunderstorms just about every day for the last week. Guess who didn’t react to the thunder? Me, the girl that has almost peed her pants she was so scared (as both a child and adult). I don’t know what’s going on, maybe somebody put something in the water?! Whatever it is, it’s good. I feel confident. I am happy… no, I’m excited! (bruh, haha)
Next on the goal list? Keep this upward trajectory going, yes, definitely. As soon as this leg heals up, I’m going to restart my garage workouts. The second that coronavirus vaccine is available, I’m getting it and joining a gym. I also need to get with the VA for some stuff, so I can be approved to work again. Oh, and clear up all the acne I got from the gel they used during ECT. My skin just hates anything that’s not lotion. Guess that can be a new skin healing journey to document.
I’m so happy. I did it! Whatever combo of meds, the second round of ECT, and plain ol’ hard work during and after being hospitalized made the difference. My life has meaning. What happened to me has meaning. I’m moving forward. I DID IT!
Oh and one last thing…